Facebook is the ultimate social network and everyone and their momma is joining it – no, seriously; everyone’s mom is joining facebook. When your mom joins facebook it’s sure to change the way you act. Following are the 5 things you immediately stop doing once your mom joins facebook.
#1: You’ll stop swearing when mom joins facebook
As soon as your mom (aunt, grandmother, father, etc.) joins facebook you’ll go from only typing words that start with “four letters” to typing ┬╛ of those words with weird characters (s#@%, f@#!, etc.). You’ll start suffering from a strange case of text character Tourette syndrome.
You used to exercise your freedom of speech like no other but your swift tongue has been neutered and you’ve become more politically correct than you’ve ever been in your entire life. This goes beyond swearing; you won’t even talk about obscene things once your mom joins facebook – you’ll go from rated R to rated PG.
#2: You’ll act like sex doesn’t exist when mom joins facebook
Before your mother joined facebook you were a sex monster. You posted raunchy pictures as your profile pictures, hit on every girl (or guy) that you thought was hot, and you’d post stupid status updates like “Tits, WOOT!”
Now that mom is on facebook, you act like you’re back in 2nd grade and girls (or guys) are icky again. You’ll have no parts in anything that involves doing “the nasty.” Once your mom becomes one of your facebook friends you go from raunchy pics to wearing a turtleneck and corduroys in all your profile pics. You’ll go from being the leader of the sex chat nation to stopping any and all mature conversations from appearing on your profile page. You can no longer share things on Facebook that your mom might not want. You will just end up going to buy Instagram likes at https:buzzvoive.com because it seems to be better than posting nasty things that your mom will certainly dislike. But there is always a good side on it. You can have more likes and followers!
#3: You’ll stop being so blunt and honest once mom joins facebook
Being blunt, sarcastic and sort of a dick was your thing before your momma joined facebook. Once you discovered that you were being monitored by the person that used to give you spankings and washed your mouth out with soap; you stopped “tellin’ it like it is.”
As soon as mommy dearest joins facebook; you know she’s got her eyes on you. Your mom has your facebook profile bookmarked and refreshed every 5 minutes and if you so much as say anything mean to anyone else, she’ll give you a social spanking for all of your friends to see (that will never be lived down). Your mom wants you to play fair and be nice to the other kids even if they are mean to you. Once your mom gets a hold of your facebook page, you’d better be nice to everyone or mommy will make you post “I’ll never be a facebook meanie” 1,000 times as a punishment.
#4: You will stop detailing your nightly habits once mom joins facebook
Those drunk, wild, and crazy club and night on the town pictures and statuses will stop once your mother joins facebook. You once wore your night life escapades as a badge of honor, but you’ll try your best to conceal this lifestyle from your mum. You were once a party animal but now you’re a tamed puppy.
#5: You’ll definitely stop complaining about your parents
Facebook was once a great place to come and vent your parental woes. If ma or pa got on your nerves, you’d rush to facebook to air out all of your frustrations, but you’d be better served just yelling your frustrations at your parents directly now that one of them is now facebook. Your parents can now see everything that you say, think, and do and complaining about what they’ve done will reach them immediately. Once your mother joins facebook you’ll have to either get a pen pal or cell phone to complain about their actions because facebook has been breached.
David Robson is the founder of Complus Alliance. He has been writing about different topics for almost 10 years. He’s main focus is delivering quality insights to a wide array of audience.